You can't be old and wise if you weren't once young and crazy.

Hi guys.

Yesterday I had a mini escape from reality, and it was great. Went Studio M hotel to have a celebration for Suzhen's coming b'day, seeing as we haven't really celebrated her b'day for the past 2 years. As usual, the joy from being w/ all of 'em, this time including Joyce, who was able to stay over after a very, very long time, was very enjoyable.

Highlights during the stay there for me was probably the swim in the evening & then again in morning, b/c somehow swimming really calmed me down and I felt so untroubled while I was in the water. It was the ultimate break from the stress that just keeps consuming me. :( Also, talking w/ the girls felt really great. :) Our friendship is like a constant reminder of what we all went through during that 5 weeks in China and I'm truly glad that we'll share those memories tgt forever.

From tomorrow onwards it's back to reality. Honestly speaking, there isn't a lot left to go, yet I still feel the stress. I've never hated schooling in my entire life, yet now I can't go by a day w/o saying I hate school. I've come to a conclusion that it's the company that makes a difference. I'm tired of putting up a pretense and being nice when I'm really not. I have my tantrums, I have my temperaments, and I'm tired of being afraid that I'll step on peoples' toes, tired of always trying to put on a smile. People in school are really nice, but.. I just can't be myself no matter how hard I try.

I wish that I'm stronger, and I wish that I can stop breaking down. But one thing I'm sure of is that there'll always be friends ard me, and if there isn't, I still have my family, and most importantly (and I'm not saying so just b/c he's my boyfriend), I know Suri will always try to be there for me. Thank you for holding me up when I'm at my lowest, thank you for not giving up on me when I'm being my most angry self. I love you.