Out of control

Just tonight, or rather morning, I was telling Daisy how difficult it is to be a good person. Someone who isn't petty or selfish. Someone who's always smiling, always positive, always thinking good things about others. If you guys have been reading my blog I've been pretty down a few times over the past month. Unhappy about myself, about how I've been treating others. So I kept trying to think of means to be better to others, to make people like me more.. Because I feel a lot of people don't really like me for who I am. I concluded that I was too self-centered, too petty, too competitive, even, to have people accept me for the way I am.

But despite trying hard not to step on others' toes, I still did it. There must be some sort of misunderstandings b/c I didn't mean anything at all. But misinterpretation and lack of communication leads to misunderstandings that I can't handle. It is so hard to satisfy everyone. I'm once again at a loss. And what is the point in trying to keep making things work when people want to misunderstand you anyway?

Just to make the point clear, I treasure every one of my friends. Every single one. I love every single one and I wanna be friends w/ all of you for as long as I can. So please don't misunderstand me anymore.

Goodbye.