I had so much going on over the 2 weeks of term break that it was hard to both summarise my break and the entire 2011 in the previous entry, so I thought I should post another entry to get a reflection of 2011 done!
People on tumblr are always talking about living life instead of purely existing, which I feel I've done in the past year. I think I've never faced with more challenges, albeit some of them being pretty minor challenges, and never matured so much in any of the other years. Maybe it's all part of growing up mentally as we move on to the next phase of our lives.
Well, in 2011, I had my first and biggest challenge ever when I lost my brother to an accident, and that pain never fades. It's still in my mind and makes me sad every once in a while, but no one else other than those who have once lost someone close to them will ever fully understand, so it's pointless to even start telling anyone about the pains of missing someone whom you'll never get to see again. Most of them time thinking about him pushes me to work harder. There are countless times in 2011 when I told myself that I have to live my life better b/c I have the ability to when my brother couldn't.
And then there is the academic side to the challenges I faced, where I had to go through my last year in poly w/o my friends, and each step is a step out of my comfort zone. In actual fact, I believe life is very fair, and it gives everyone ample opportunities and chances. For my case, I was able to make friends w/ people like Eunice, who really lent me a huge helping hand in the final semester. Despite this, it was still hard, b/c other than her, there's practically no one else. But there is honestly an upside to every downside and I feel I gained a lot more than I lost in the final year. It was the final lap and definitely the most beneficial for me. From the character building during internship to being comfortable in myself, in making friends, and dealing w/ awkward situations, etc.. Well it was a really good year in that sense. :)
In this year, there was also a period of time when I got much closer to my family, including the relatives, and it made me realise that nothing is ever stronger than family ties. It's always these people who will help the most in the most difficult times. This feeling consumed me in one point and it's wonderful to know that I have a family like this. Yet towards the end of the year, something changed, and I have no idea what I can do about it. I can only hope that things will get better w/ time.
2011 was also the year that I spent the entire year w/ Suri baby. There were countless ups and downs, but we're still going strong. :) This is mentioned a lot of times before, whereby he made me grow up a lot, learnt a lot of things, and basically being the role model in my life currently. From working to family, there are a lot things that I can learn from him, which is why my 2012 resolution includes not skipping work w/o good reasons. Heh.
So generally 2011 made me a more responsible person I guess? Or still in the midst of trying to be one. And I also understand that whatever I want in life, I have to get them myself, and there shouldn't be any dependence on anyone else.
Apart from growing up, 2011 also showed me the abundant love from friends, especially the 5 wonderful girls from secondary school. Each of you are different in your own ways, and I am different too, and we have entirely different aims and goals in life, yet somehow I rely a lot on you girls for emotional support from time to time. I honestly believe that you all can accept all of my flaws and are willing to give me unconditional support whenever I need them. It's really hard to describe our friendship in words, but the way our friendship has changed over the past 7 years made me cherish it even more.
In my previous entry I also mentioned another group of friends whom I feel are people who bring out the more adventurous and crazier side of me. Had a lot of my first-times w/ these people, and the fun we had are the basically the highest points of my life when it comes to spending time w/ friends. I feel really grateful to be able to go on the China trip, to have the chance to meet all these people and to be part of you all. It's one of the greatest blessings I have in my life.
Now the things that I regret in 2011 is mostly the things that I failed to do for my friends. I think one of my 2011 resolutions was to be a better friend, which sad to say, I failed badly at doing so. I stepped on a lot of toes, created more troubles than in 2010, and disappointed a lot of people. The good thing is I'm still friends w/ most of them, so there are still chances to make up for those unpleasant things I've done. Yet making up is a lot harder than it sounds.
I think this is the most reflective entry I ever had, and is probably b/c I really learnt a lot in the past year! Overall it was an enriching year, and hopefully in 2012 I can learn ever more, and have more overseas trips, see more of the world, experience more things and have a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot of fun w/ my friends. Not to forget, to also have an even better year Suri.
At this moment, I honestly feel that life is gonna be better and there's a lot of hope for the future. Hehehehehe. It feels good to be young and to be hopeful.
I love you all!!!!!! Goodnight.
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