Not self-pity.

Hi all. Things have been bad. Generally I have no more zest for life. Everything is like a piece of darkness to me. I know life hasn't been hard, and I don't wna be labeled 'weak', but maybe weak is really what I am. I really don't think ppl know what I'm going through. In fact, I'm going through nothing much, and everything at the same time.

I let down my boyfriend, friends, and I'm now on the verge of abandoning my job. But of course I wouldn't. So that says smth right? That I'm not actually that weak? That I wna make a change to myself.

But see, I've said this so many times even I'm sick of it. All the apologies, promises to be better. I don't ever get better. Then I feel like I've failed myself too.

Guess I don't deserve to have friends and boyfriend. I know they'll all leave someday. And all I can blame is myself.